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Simon King

Simon King – England standup 2015

Simon King appeared in England at Backyard Comedy Club with a small 10 minute standup
0:30 Did you realize that England is the America of Europe? Did you guys realize that you are the same people who go “I cannot believe there is no fish and chips?”
1:45 America is the greatest country in the world! Meanwhile 50 million people don’t have health insurance, you can go to jail for 30 years for minor drug offenses. You can’t call it, you have to prove it
03:10 I want a homeless person to be my president because he can balance the budget by returning cans.
03:35 I cannot tell you how great it would be to watch crazy homeless president. “why do we go to war with Syria?” “I tell you right now, spiders in my eyes, spiders in my eyes, stealing my thoughts, stealing my thoughts”

Simon King – Women and Personality

Simon King about women and personality, an outstanding perspective about relationship. Maybe there is a little sexism, but for there purposes of this performance, the message was delivered really well. Some may even say that there is wisdom in Simon`s words.

Simon King – America
Simon King – a lot of times people like to blame it on foreigners. Some people like to believe it. These keep coming to this country and take all them good jobs. I can’t get no good jobs, cause all of them foreigners taking all the good jobs. Really? That’s the job you want Cledes? Cleaning bodily fluids off bed spread. That’s not the job you wanted. That’s the job you saw as beneath you. As I recall correctly, America had a nasty habit of importing foreigners for hundereds of years to do the jobs they wouldn’t lower themselves to do.

Simon King – Jobs
Simon King – You like your job this joke is not for you. If you hate your job, stop going. That’s easy to say but being unemployed is the best. You know that job you go to, where everybody treats you like crap, well you never have to go there again. Yes! You know food? you can’t have any. Boo. So you have to. But there is not much time.