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Patrice O’neal

Patrice O’Neal – Time Ho

Patrice O’Neal radio recording of Black Philip show when a person called on air. His problem was trying to friendship his way into being intimate with a girl, which he was friend with for a long time but she was completely creped out by contact with him. Patrice called him a Time Ho that she was using him.

Patrice O’Neal – Black Women Get You Refunds

Patrice O’Neal – Black women are amazing. Let me tell you what, if you need to get money back or refund, you better get yourself a black girl, because she will get a refund. I went to AT&T, because I dropped my phone in the toilet. I just want a replacement phone, and he said I can’t do it. I had to put a hood on my girl, because she is back there growling. I said look man, I will take refurbished. Sir, we cannot give you any phone if you drop your phone in the toilet, we are not responsible. You have one more chance, man. Sir, I am sorry… This girl comes back with five phones and I don’t have to pay my bill no more.

Patrice O’Neal – Receipts and typical white guy crimes

This is a short episode from comedy special on HBO. Patrice O’Neal act about “typical white guy crimes”, as he claims to be afraid of white women for absolutely different reasons. That something may happen to a white woman and he would blamed for it, so everywhere he goes he buys something and he collects receipts as alibi. The whole video is only 3 minutes where he opens with chloroform and I couldn’t stop laughing long after video finished playing.

Patrice O’Neal – Honesty

Patrice O’Neal is known to make a stand with honesty. This is an amazing act about how men cannot be honest with women from “Just For Laughs Comedy Festival” aired in July 2008. “Once a man love a woman he no longer likes you. I will give you advice of how to keep a man liking you once he loves you, if that is possible, that is what I think. Men want to be alone, but we don’t want to be by ourself. Does that make sense at all. We want you do to be in the dwelling, just not in here.” He Continues on with move hilarious remarks of a typical conversation between a man and a woman, and I think it would be healthy for people to see it.

Patrice O’neal – Harassment day
Patrice O’neal performance at “Elephant in the room” special performance where he invented a “Harassment day”. On Tuesday before Thanksgiving, a beautiful day, you bring flowers, where you get to ask a woman – “would you..?”. I thought about it all year, I thought of you that way, but you are not.

Patrice O’neal – Cheating

This is most original bit about relationship and cheating I ever heard. I am pretty sure you never heard anyone talk about this touchy subject in such way. Patrice O’neal was a cool comic, we all miss him.